When have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose! – Harry Potter
That quote may be a **little** dramatic, but have you ever seen two full grown humans (muggles) pushing as hard as they can on opposite ends of your wife’s belly, repeatedly, in hopes of literally flipping your unborn child’s world upside down, while you helplessly sit in the corner?
Now tell me if quoting the boy who lived is too dramatic or not. It’s not.
Granted, we did plan this little baby wheel of fortune. We are just over 37 weeks and our stubborn little potato is very comfortable in her current position, breech! She’s quite happy there. Despite all of our best at home efforts she refuses to budge. We’ve done all of the exercises, shined a flashlight up there, placed warm packs at the base of the pelvis, played music, etc. Maybe she likes it cold and dark and doesn’t like Yellowcard or New Found Glory. Though if she doesn’t like pop punk from the 2000s we’re scheduling a paternity test ASAP.
Undeterred by our attempts she remains in place and has seemingly decided to do things her way. This kid does sound like my daughter, and she certainly sounds like my wife’s daughter. We’re a stubborn bunch. It’s in our DNA I think. This poor kid is going to argue with people, just for the sake of arguing with people. I will be the proudest Dad ever – so long as she wins the argument.
Any who, this morning we had an External Cephalic Version (ECV) scheduled. I say “we.” My two ladies had an ECV scheduled; I tagged along as a spectator and for moral support. It was both terrifying and exciting at the same time. Exciting was getting to hear and see the baby again, and witnessing her potentially flipping.
Terrifying was watching a crowd of doctors and nurses huddle over my wife and push on her belly with the strength of ten men each. Equally terrifying was knowing she hadn’t had anything to eat in ten hours, doctor’s orders! I’m not sure they knew what kind of hangry monster they could have created. At one point, the smallest of the doctors, got into the hospital bed so that she could gain better leverage to push down even harder on the belly and on the baby, which to me looked as though they would burst open at any second. It truly was frightening for a moment – my bride’s and my child’s heart rate/blood pressure dropped briefly. They both bounced back and the doctors, with our consent, made one final attempt to whirl this tiny human around.
I couldn’t be more proud…in defiance of these medical experts and their efforts my little one stood her ground. A breech baby she remains! She will not allow a team of highly trained and talented medical professionals push her around and tell her what to do! Atta-girl! I’m not sure my wife shares my inflated sense of pride.
Jokes aside…we have been planning on a vaginal birth throughout the entire pregnancy. Each appointment along the way we’ve hoped that the ultrasound would show she had flipped on her own, though we suspected she had not. At this stage in the pregnancy the ECV was recommended by our OB-GYN, and we were told there was about a 50/50 chance it would work. I was very optimistic that it would, as the thought of my spouse having to go for a C-Section, which while common is still considered major surgery, terrifies me. Hell, just seeing them push around on the two of them today made MY stomach turn. Ironic huh?
We aren’t going to get too hung up on it though. The truly important thing is that our little girl is delivered safely and that both her and Mom are healthy. We’ve been told since day one that not everything, and likely most of this, would not go according to plan. I’ve been pretty flexible with my expectations since my birth plan was thrown out the window early on. That said, I still see nothing wrong with blasting a little old school DMX while spraying champagne all over the delivery room to celebrate such a joyous event. But what do I know.
Plus with a C-section I’m told her head won’t be elongated, which means she will be adorable immediately, which means I can take a picture and post it to Instagram right away, which means I’ll be bathing in likes sooner. And isn’t that what fatherhood is all about? Likes on the ‘gram. It is, isn’t it?
We are certainly still going to try the at home methods for flipping this baby but are preparing to cut her out of there if need be! Either way, her arrival is fast approaching and I couldn’t be more excited. As each day passes I’m less worried about how we are going to do it, and am more overjoyed that we get to do it. This is one Dad who is ready for his daughter to be here, upside down or not.